Love Breaks Your Heart

I don't know what I am saying yet, it's just what I feel coming right now. Like a storm that I feel coming in my knees, I feel this coming in my heart. If one good day does not come to lighten the abyss, I feel my heart going astray, and needing somewhere else to go for rest and to seek comfort. I can not take the daily stress and anxiety, I thought love was enough, but maybe I am just not strong enough for this. Sometimes I feel bad for those misconceptions and breaking your heart but I just can't seem to let go of things. Things never really change, I am back to that same doubt, if you can't stop that doubt then maybe this isn't where I am suppose to be. I've lost myself in my own world, it's back to where no one really knows and everything's written in code. I don't want to be left behind, just another fly on the wall, an attempt for love but left fatal to fall. I can not stand this lack of communication and the constant push away, the stress and the anger all thrown-up in the air.. for me to catch the brunt end of it.. where then I might say, "just get over it", I can't stand such the high levels of disappointment when I fail you and I see you cry, I can't stand the feeling that I'll never be enough because there will always be someone else playing along to steal this dance from me. Maybe over all I can not stand myself and my own insecurities, I repeat them again to you and I say why I feel like I am not worth it, but here we are again, lost in this same old story where I feel that you can't love me. Should I really blame myself though? Should I be made to feel like the second string? I don't want to be the best and hear how everyone else compares, and who catches your eye when I'm not there, hitting the stress and feeling like it's my fault, being pushed away, wrong for doubting things where no love has been shown, a sore lack of communication, and no days without an argument. It is you who chose not to love me and leave me like this after sirens and warnings, I guess nothing came through on the other line. At the end of the night when all is said and done, I try once again to sleep off the fact that I love you more.